The Light within the Darkness

It is the Light within us that leads us into the Darkness.

First, I would like to acknowledge how infrequent my writings have been here. I cannot overstate the tremendous amount of pressure I have been under for much of the past year (if not longer) to meet certain responsibilities that fall outside of my desires to write, convey knowledge, or to share my passion for learning in various subjects in relation to vitalism, ancestral heritage, sovereignty, self-knowledge, personal responsibility, and other aspects of our world that challenge us to grow and thrive.

I have experienced myself as someone who does what they say they are going to do. In fact, as a young man of 21, seated across a desk of a business agent I was beginning to work with, he told me, “John, you always do what you say you’re going to do.” I thought to myself, ‘so what? isn’t that what I’m supposed to do??’ It was yet lost on me that this is an uncommon trait in our world as it is now.

But I came to a point in my life, not too long ago, where I realized that my capacity to do things, my desire to do things, and my belief in myself to do a wide variety of things had become so untenable that I simply cannot do everything that I enthusiastically set myself out to do.

So, I have been diligently whittling away at some major projects over the past year whilst thinking about some major changes in my life which would free up the time to make myself more available to teaching and writing. For the past year, it has taken a back seat to my family, my businesses, and some major building projects; even my Self has taken a back seat to all the above.

But this has been a learning journey for me, amidst a time of transition. The rare moments of stillness have come in the occasionally early morning or late night hours when there is just a little time and space to simply be, or throughout my many journeys into the deserts, woodlands, and mountains over the past year wherein my focus was on the plants, the landscape, and the feelings within myself. It is all cumulative and I trust in the path.

Throughout the past 3.5 years I have experienced a wide variety of significant challenges. In some of them, I have encountered the proverbial darkness before me, seeking to disrupt my work or cause injury to myself or my family. I have also confronted darkness within myself in the form of adopted beliefs or inherited trauma patterns. And I have witnessed darkness in others that crosses my path on a regular basis.

I can now say that I feel it is the Light within myself that has brought all of this Darkness to me. It is the means by which the steel is tempered. It is the inherent contrast to the Light that develops its splendor and beauty.

Now I sit, as do we all, at the doorstep of the deepest darkness and utter stillness (in the northern hemisphere) within and around us, and it is here I would like to take a pause…

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For some years now, my mind goes to Brú na Bóinne (aka Newgrange) at this time of year. It was about 12 years ago that I first stood within the inner chamber of this ancient sacred structure. Despite being led in by a guide and taught what the “history” is of the structure, we were nonetheless given an opportunity, for a few moments, to experience the inner chamber in complete darkness and complete silence. For this, I am grateful.

For in those moments, as I closed my eyes, I could see around me a fervent activity amongst the loyal adherents to the beliefs and traditions of the time they were in. These women were involved with rite and ceremony which I will not feign to understand for my mind is made of a different substrate than theirs was to be sure, but there was a thread connecting us at that moment. I could witness the sacredness of their doings, the purpose, the continuity and integrity of their right, privilege, and responsibility at each of their tasks. There was a connecting to something much greater than what resided within the chamber and it was too great for any individual mind to comprehend or perceive. It was a spiritual experience as it was nonlocal and I could feel the importance of my individual concerns quickly fade away.

Upon reflection, I find myself asking, ‘was it in preparation for the moment of the entering of the Light for which they were preparing?’ and almost before I can articulate the question to myself, I realize that it was.

It is through the “upper box” just above the entranceway that the light of the winter solstice enters the inner chamber. This may not seem like such a great feat until one has actually traversed the passage leading to the inner chamber. It is a long journey into the chamber through the narrow passage that many modern Americans would not be able to complete - ducking under one stone in a low squat while sidestepping or shuffling forward. Further, the light lands onto the floor at the back of the chamber due to the tilt of the floor upwards from the entrance, such that one must place one’s head (in humble fashion) next to the Earth to be able to view the sun. This all completed with finesse by layering 2 ton granite flat stones one atop the other, overlapping, to create a dome that is still water tight after 5200 years (…they say; I believe it is likely much older).

As one can see from looking at the illustration of the inner chamber at Brú na Bóinne, its structure forms a cross. From what I have read from Irish authors of the early 20th and late 19th centuries, the cross was not brought to us by St. Patrick and the Christians, but was already here. The perceived, or proposed, dichotomy of pagan and Christian will in time be revealed to show that there has been some psyops operating for quite some time.

The Four Directions, the Circle of Life, the Holy Trinity, the upper, middle, & lower worlds, the rising of life energy along the spine within the human body, and more, are all depicted within this form. It is a symbol for AND a vehicle unto which one experiences the cosmological wonders of the greater world.

The sun is our savior and will be re-born on December 25 (in the northern hemisphere) after 3 days of stillness. At which time it will reignite the fire within us all, or those who align oneself to this natural phenomenon.