Accountability - a wider view

As a foundational principle within my view of Vitalism and Bioregional Herbalism, accountability expands beyond culpability to embrace what is, both within and without.

In a world where temptation to escape one’s immediate surroundings, or the reality of one’s personal sphere, is so extreme to the point where people are buying ever more complex devices to “transport” themselves to different planes of virtual existence, can it be more clear that we have migrated substantially from being in the present moment?

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“The moment is all that matters,” I heard on a whisper off the river one cool, starry night as I walked across the bridge into the big city.

I was deep in focus ~ in the flow ~ and just beginning my own version of the hero’s journey, a Luke Skywalker moment (as a reference for a child of the 80s), as I experienced it at that time. There was nothing more important than what I was feeling in that moment and the information the world at large was attempting to share with me - in order to teach me and open within me a deeper connection to Life - was bringing this lesson home.

This was an exceptionally potent time for me, but I had very little context to deepen my concepts of this unique experience of growth I was just beginning. Heading into my Saturn return, I was yet unaware of the tumult which lay ahead and to what extent I would go to question much (not yet all, there was still MUCH more to come, many years later, and still unfolding…) of what I was raised on.

Although I was keenly aware of the tumult I felt within, I was not yet aware of how much there was to contend with, let alone the subtleties that would emerge through continued exploration over decades to come.

Yet, it was made clear to me in the simplest of terms - I must be present with what is right before me. Herein lie the keys to my own growth and progression through life.

Now I would say, I must be present not only with what is right before me, but what is within me as well. For this continual dance of internal/external reflection (“as above, so below”) is like the pulling of the great rope, churning the cosmic milk, that proverbially brings forth the elixir of immortality.

But one must die a certain death in order to taste that nectar. I was simply looking to tempt death by fully embracing life - in a classicly naive way, I might add.

I could be present with what I was aware of… and to the extent which I could stand the heat. But I was yet unschooled in tracking myself at the deeper levels, however keen my insights may have been.

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Accountability as full present awareness

What do I mean, exactly, by accountability?

To simply take account of what one perceives within and around oneself. To not look over or beyond any one thing as trivial. To acknowledge and accept all that there is to be felt within oneself, and to notice what feels impactful (to any degree) around oneself.

No, one cannot know all that exists within oneself at once, nor can one comprehend the totality of this at once, but through the process of taking note, taking account, one is in the practice of accepting what one sees at face value, allowing any one thought, feeling, expression to unfold on its own accord within or around oneself.

Accountability is to recognize, for example, that one is angry, that one is righteous, that one feels compelled to defend oneself, just as one may feel unheard, unnoticed, or disregarded, yet also leave space for oneself to become aware of the trigger of one’s past resurfacing, of unresolved emotions from previous experiences coming to the surface as surrogate for one’s immediate experience of what’s actually before oneself.

This is the art of tracking oneself.

To track an animal is to begin to put oneself in the place of the animal, to begin to anticipate the next step, to look 10 paces ahead up to the next change of direction. To track oneself often requires moving forward or backward. If we are not taking clear account of what we feel or how we may be responding to what’s around us, we may quickly lose track of ourselves. Our old ways seep in and commandeer our rational mind, taking over like a slick algorithm on a social media app ready to anticipate our next move, dictate our next move, … and eat our lunch.

Accountability is not simply about accepting guilt over one’s actions. That is only a minor point to accountability. It’s the negative half to accountability, I’d argue.

Accountability is defined as… an obligation or willingness…

To accept all that one is - to the extent that one is aware - is to be in accord with one’s nature, to be in acceptance of one’s thoughts and actions, and to take full responsibility for all that one is. Right, wrong, or indifferent, the ultimate moral code is the natural law. What and how do we feel in our hearts? Ultimately, there is no denying this. We can postpone it for decades, or nearly an entire lifetime, but our heart of hearts will be weighed against a feather to see how lightly we have lived, how lightly we have walked.

Accountability is ultimately about making a choice - a choice to live responsibly with what one has been given, as well as the results of the panoply of choices one has made.

Entering into this place of power (exercising one’s choice, one’s free will) can be a phenomenally liberating experience, however painful the process may be. In this way, the power to change, to heal, to transform the world around oneself turns back upon oneself for the choices one is prepared to make, for the accountability one is prepared to take.

I plant on continuing this exploration of accountability in a future post.

Stay tuned…